Pain hidden behind a smile
by 18lamusa
Summary: what can you do when the girl you love the most is with somebody else...not much really but for Natsu all he can do is smile to but inside he's dead inside and now just sits alone watching the skies but what happens when the girl he loves comes to find him? read to find out...first time writing so...don't hurt me too bad


**A/N: hey everyone this is my first time ever writing a fanfiction**  
 **Story and i'm scared as crap most authors know me by lenartmusa123 or someone that doesn't know how to shut up when he's PMing authors. I really hope you enjoy this story since this is my first time**

 **Pain, was the only thing i've felt during the time peace after the whole war with the alvarez empire. Finding out I was a demon really shocked to the core especially if zeref dies then i die do, but somehow I managed I bypass that with the help of my father igneel and my friends. Erza was the one thing on my mind throughout the whole thing i met her when we were kids and my heart just felt like it was beating 100 miles per hour. Yeah she was stronger than me but that's what kept me going i wanted to prove to her that i could become stronger so when she needed me i could protect her…..but after the tower of heaven she didn't need me anymore. Jellal the person who caused her pain in the first place was pardoned from any crimes and things haven't been the same since. Erza doesn't act like herself she takes care of her appearance, and whenever i try to start a conversation she would just leave saying she had something to do…...i'm trying to leave as many clues as i can, i love her why can't she realize that and people say i'm dense!**

 **Right now i was in the forest laying on the grass looking at the sky most people don't know this but i really like laying down to look at the sky it's calming and can make you forget things only this is the one thing that i can't forget...**

 **"Natsu" i heard a voice behind me and this voice is a voice i can recognize from miles away thanks to my hearing.**

 **"Hey Erza what are you doing here, shouldn't you be back at the guild enjoying yourself" i didn't mean to sound too rude to her but whe your in pain you can say things in ways that people might take the wrong way.**

 **It sounded like she did but decided to let it go, "i wanted to see where you were you weren't at the guild for over a week", After all this time now she decides to worry about me i**

 **"I thought that i might need a break after everything that just happened to us, and besides me not being there might be really calming so i don't know why you're out here looking for me"**

 **Erza frowned when he said that, if she was being honest with herself she hasnt really been sending to much time with him. After jellal was released she couldn't think of anything else she also started to notice that he has been acting different recently, he hasn't been smiling like he used to it seems forced if you look close enough.**

 **Erza went next to natsu to lay down with him, she liked being this close with him sometimes his warmth always gave a clam feeling she always loved. "Why would you say something like that, the guild misses you, i miss you". My heart fluttered as she said that 'she misses me? For what she has jellal doesn't she'. " it's true you may cause ruckus at the guild and you may be annoying at times and cause us our reward money at times", i look at her annoyed ' is she going somewhere with this'.**

 **Then she smiled at beautiful smile that i haven't seen in years " but you bring so much warmth to the guild, you're there for us when we need you and we can always count on you,you make everyone smile natsu, especially me" she look at me when she said that ' i make her smile but with me its the other way around she makes my heart hurt and the worst part is she doesn't even know it'.**

 **She gets up "come on let's go to the guild im sure everybody would be glad to see you" she starts to walk bu then notices that natsu is not moving at all**

 **"Natsu what wrong" she asks but natsu doesn't answer his hair is covering his eyes and grits his teeth. 'Why can't she figure it out yet im here looking at the sky while my heart bleeds and all she can do is just….smile?' for the first time in natsu's life erza smiling doesn't help him and he hated that beyond belief.**

 **"Natsu are you listening to me i asked you what's wrong" i say nothing and this angered her more then usual why was he acting like this why was he acting...not like himself she wanted the ld natsu back and she was going to get him back one way or the other**

 **She grabs by his collar and she makes him look into her eyes she saw sadness and anger i them but chose to ignore that because she to was angry herself."why are you acting this way!, the Natsu i know i happy and outgoing and tries to make everyone smile i want to know where that natsu is" i couldn't take it anymore so i fire back**

 **"WELL WHAT ABOUT YOU WHERE IS THE ERZA I KNOW?! I screamed i didn't mean to but she pushed to the limit, erza froze she never heard him talk to her like that before so this was a big shock, "ever since jellal was free you haven't been acting like yourself, you act so differently around him and you take care of your appearance when you never do that erza! You never talk to your friends anymore let alone spend anytime with them not even me" my voice cracks at the end and she could see tears coming out of his eyes. "and i every time i see you guys i get this feeling in my chest and it hurts i never smile because of it and i always force my smiles".**

 **Erza was stunned and when she saw tears coming of his eyes it shocked her even more but what did natsu mean by all of that, she was the cause of his pain?**

 **"N-natsu w-what are you saying" her voice shakes just what did he mean by all of that**

 **"Im saying.." 'this is it the moment you been waiting for for years' "THAT I LOVE YOU ERZA SCARLET AND I ALWAYS HAVE EVER SINCE THE DAY WE FIRST MET!" i scream as loud as i can to the point where whole world of earthland can hear me but i don't give a damn.**

 **Erza just stood there frozen as if she cast in a block of ice she never expected natsu to act like this but then again everything he said started to fall together...he's been in love with her since the day they met as children if that was true then why didn't he say anything? It was because of her past she was betrayed once by jellal who she really liked...but everytime she saw natsu he never seemed to smile like he used ever since the war and since jellal was free he changed he came to the guild less and less and didn't pick that many fights, and erza always wondered what was wrong with him but she didn't seem to notice until now and now she found found out she was the reason of it all and she felt guilty for it.**

 **Erza looked at him in the eyes to see if anything he said was true and it was not one ounce of lie in them it was all true and...she didn't notice the signs she gave her, always talking to her, the day he comfort her when jellal was taken away, or that fact that when he smiled at her they were different from the smiles he would give others they were filled with...love.**

 **Erza looks away from his eyes because of what she's about to say "N-natsu….i-im really sorry but i can't return your feelings" just as she said that my heart sank deeper than the bottom of the sea i knew she wouldn't return them but it would never prepare me for the pain that she just gave me i tried to be strong but the tears without thinking i blurted out " it's because you're heart belongs to jellal huh" just as i said that she flinched she looked down in shame for hurting him for all these years**

 **"It doesn't really surprise me really for as long as i knew you would always be shocked to see him and freeze in place, i always tried to help but in the end i guess it's never going to be enough huh" erza looked up to him to see him crying a river and she tried to say something but was cut off " he was always better he melted what i been trying to melt for years in a second was the armor around your heart, i should have given up a long time ago but i didn't because a dragon's love is strong and never fades, my heart may be broken but never forget this erza even if you don't want it it'll always belong to you"**

 **Erza was crying now because she sees a broken natsu in front of her crying and it was her fault she couldn't do anything to comfort him fearing she would only make it worse, natsu then began to walk away from her and she panicked and went after him and grabbed his hand " Natsu wait please just let me explain i-"**

 **"There is nothing to explain erza you're heart belongs to another and that's it there's nothing that you can say so please just let me go" i just wanted to leave i can't be in here anymore the more i stay the more im in pain but erza wouldn't let go**

 **"Natsu please i-" she tried to explain but natsu screamed cutting her off**  
 **"I SAID LET ME GO!" screaming like that made her let go because my magic was released and burned her hand makin her let go of me in the process.**

 **"AHH!" she screamed and held her burnt hand i could dare to look back because i hear her crying and i caused it i couldn't bare to hear her cry so i just sprinted into the forest without looking back**

 **"NATSU!" erza screamed but it was too late he was already gone and he was in pain and crying and she caused it all erza just cried in the grass and she kept repeating "im so sorry" back and forth she cried because she hurt and him and feared that he will never go back to being the same natsu again.**

 **Nasu was running in the forest and was crying like no tomorrow he was deep into the forest and went down to his knees and cried he didn't care anymore why was he suffering like this? What has he done to deserve such torment lost his father Igneel and now lost the love his life erza to jellal. He couldn't take the pain anymore so he decided to leave for a little while he knew he would never fall in love again so what would be the point in staying and seeing the person who caused you harm with someone everyday, so he decided to leave fiore.**

 **Erza went back to the guild and saw mirajane who saw her and smiled at her " hello erza how are you today" erza frantically asked mira "mira have you seen natsu anywhere"**

 **Mirajane did her usual thinking pose and answered " no i haven't did something happen" erza looked down in shame "it's very complicated mira i just have to find him"**

 **Erza left the guid leaving mirajane completely confused and searched everywhere for him around fiore she started to cry and muttered "natsu please come back please"**

 **Natsu was on a hill that had amazing view of fiore he was going to miss this place but he just couldn't stay in a place where there was so much pain and suffering before walking away he muttered "goodbye erza"**

 **Erza got on her knees and screamed to the heavens "NATSUUUUUUU!"**

 **A/N well thats my first chapter of the story to be honest i have been reading fanfiction for over two years and i was reluctant at first but RoseDragonWitch and AnimeUniverse0229 convinced me otherwise let me know what you think leave a review but don't be too harsh i'm a newbie**  
 **If you want to leave a PM just to talk that's fine im a chill dude *takes his hand out the freezing water and sees his hand frozen* yep chill…..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**


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